If someone does not accept your amends, respecting their feelings is essential. You cannot control how others respond, but you can focus on your growth and commitment to making positive changes in your life in recovery. An apology is simply saying, “I’m sorry,” while making amends involves taking responsibility and actively working to repair the harm caused. This accountability strengthens your commitment to sobriety because you’re actively working to live differently. While many people are receptive living amends and supportive of attempts to make amends, some are not.

Living Amends will be holding funding for scholarships during July and August 2025.

To learn more about our program or to apply for our scholarship, please contact our team members today. A sober living community can allow you to return to a semi-normal life, but at the same time, Sobriety the environment it provides gives you the accountability you need to remain sober. At Virtue Recovery Center, we’re here to help you every step of the way.

How do I approach making direct amends to people I’ve harmed during my addiction?
In some cases, simply opening up a conversation with a friend or family member about your history of alcohol use can begin this process. Austin’s recovery ecosystem blends structured sober living homes with an active, health-forward culture and a strong peer community. Step Nine can leave you emotionally exhausted; it’s a difficult step to navigate. But the rewards you’ll reap from living amends can help make the challenges easier and more productive.
- Not all forgiveness has to be made in person or on the phone (voiced).
- We become aware that since we usually mean well, we can extend that belief to others.
- When I first came to recovery, I was certain steps 8 and 9 would be a breeze.
- If you need to pay someone back a thousand dollars (direct amends), make an agreement with them to work to do this.
- In Step 9, participants acknowledge the negative impact their addiction had on others and commit to direct amends where possible.
Support Systems for The Ninth Step
As we go into this step we must remember to stay connected to a higher power and have faith that the previous eight steps have prepared us to work the Ninth Step. An indirect amend is appropriate when direct communication might cause further harm, or someone we harmed has passed away. These involve acknowledging faults and resolving to live well in the future to make up for past wrongs. For example, one might consider making indirect amends when the harmed person is deceased or contact would cause further harm. An apology consists of words, saying sorry for wat you did while in active substance abuse, and not much both you and the person you harmed can count on moving into the future of your relationship.